Are you an Over-Talker?

I used to be an Over-talker.

I would fill silence with my voice.

And I thought that's because I was passionate.

Until this moment...

I was attending a seminar called "Future of Business" by my mentor Marshall Thurber. There, he was teaching us "It's better to be Interested instead of being Interesting."

I understood the concept intellectually, but I haven't internalised it.

Then one of the participants, who was a famous influencer in the professional development space stood up, introduced himself and shared that he wants to work with Marshall to promote his work.

Marshall engaged him in a short conversation right in front of all of us.

At the end of that exchanged, Marshall asked him "So do you know what I really want?"

"Not much really..." He replied.

Marshall said sagely, "𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 7 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵."

BOOM!

I understood the concept immediately

Okay, by now if you've identified yourself as an over-talker, let me share one more thing with you.

𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧!

Through my own healing journey, I've also learnt that the knack of over-talking came from a noble intention - to be understood.

Growing up, I was often told by adults, "𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵!"

I felt misunderstood.

I felt unappreciated.

I felt silenced.

For many years, I've shut myself off, keeping to myself. I became a loner.

However, I strongly desired to be seen, heard and understood.

Otherwise, how am I going to get a girlfriend? How am I going to be recognised at work?

So I started speaking up... unskilfully!

I'd leave a date thinking I've made an impression on the lady. But there was no second date, they ghosted or rejected me.

At work, when I spoke up at a meeting, my boss would turn to someone else to carry on the meeting.

Then I became even more desperate to get my points across, so what did I do?

I talked even more!

It's like shooting in the dark, thinking if I spray as many words as I could, then something will hopefully land.

Forgive yourself for over-talking, you just wanted to be understood.

Over-talking is a reflection of an unclear mind.

As author Scott Berkun famously said, "𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘱𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘤 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨"

Being a great communicator requires superior craftsmanship. It involves:

• Understanding your audience
• Curating relevant stories
• Bullesye-focused in delivery

That's what I teach in my Magnetic Speaking workshops and coach my clients to do.

Our upcoming Magnetic Storytelling workshop is designed to help you master this art. You'll learn practical, proven techniques to make your stories magnetic, engaging, and transformative.

We're just a couple of weeks away from coming together for our Magnetic Storytelling workshop. Imagine the impact of sharing your story in a way that truly captivates, inspires, and makes a difference. This workshop is your opportunity to learn the power of Magnetic Storytelling in a supportive and engaging environment.

We have a few spots left, and we’d love to have you join us. Don't miss out on this chance to grow and connect. Secure your spot today!